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I dunno, nothing ever changes in my life. It just keeps rolling on. I am probably the most boring person in the world in that respect. It's just work and more work.

It's so hard to plan anything when you never know what time you will be done with work. And with only one day off..well..I am very posessive of that one day..I do what I want to do, I don't spend it running around doing needless things. My favorite thing to do is just stay home and curl up with quiet hobbies, reading or watching a movie.

Guess you don't meet many people that way. I have come to accept this, that my lil world is a small quiet one, and probably always will be. I see people having relationships and I wonder how they do it? How did they meet, and how do they make it work?

I have never been able to make it work. Every relationship I have ever had..from the womb on out..had been pretty much a disaster. Because I am not a partier, I don't go out drinking, I don't do drugs, and I don't go to bars.

Now the holidays are coming. The end of another year. And a new one coming.

Someone here told me not to give up.

So what if I did? Give up expecting things to ever be any different...give up hoping anything will change.

I honestly don't think anything will ever change in my lil world.

And I have to learn to accept that.

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Theban
16:50 Dec 08 2009

From what I have read you don't appear boring, and when you get to my age that is all I want to do!! Well apart from fishing, ghost hunting, detecting, swimming..ect ect..lol

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Well, the holiday commercials and ads have started in earnest. I'm flooded with catalogs too. And any day now, very soon...I will begin to feel the gloom that always envelops me around the holidays. Soon as New Year is over I'm fine...but holidays are arrrggggghhh for me.



You'd think I'd be used to it by now. After all, two decades-plus of being alone at the holidays should be enough time to realize what's going to happen next. And a lot of people tell me how lucky I am not to have to shop for anyone, or get wound up over whose house to go to or what to bring for dinner.



Sure. Real lucky. I just love sitting alone through all the holidays, reading or looking out the window. Oh yeah I do my bit volunteering and helping those less fortunate...but when I come home it would be really nice to have someone there...



Just sometimes.

Grr. Holidays.

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Theban
16:47 Dec 08 2009

I like Holidays.

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